Calendar Calling

Posted by Cheryl on Jul 1, 2011 in Main Categories |

“Anyone can tell how badly you really want something by what you’re doing to get it.” That line got thrown in my face today, physician July 1, view by a soup-stained, ask perpetual calendar that’s been hanging around my kitchen for the past twenty years. Shit! Called onto the carpet by a calendar! So, is it too late for New Year’s resolutions? At the halfway point in the year, I’m thinking it wouldn’t hurt to consider a sort of ‘act two’ version of personal goal setting for 2011. Because there’s one thing that I’ve always wanted to do, and that I talk about doing all the time, and that I dream about spending part of my life doing……..but which I hardly ever do at all. And that’s writing. I’m in love with words, with books, with poems, with writers. I want to write for fun, for understanding, for connection with others, for the hell of it JUST because I know it’s an important part of me that doesn’t get out to play very much! Why don’t I just write if I want to write? No idea. Okay, I have lots of ideas around why. Just last week, my friend Jane and I were walking early one morning, talking about why there are some important things in our life that we long to do but we just DON’T. (I’ve had this same conversation with many people over the years.) It’s easy to come up with reasons; the easiest, most relied upon, knee-jerk response is we don’t have any time. But that’s such a big cop out. So then we came up with three real reasons that hide under all our moaning about time; fear, ego, laziness. Afraid a part of our truest selves will be judged to be not good enough; protective of our middle-aged egos that have worked hard to be healthy and seen as successful; and then just plain, old laziness, as in, “ I could work on that big dream of mine………or I could lie on the couch and watch TV.” A sad truth. But here’s another true thing. For as long as I can remember, way back to me as a 9 or 10 year old girl, I have always loved to write; write poetry, write stories, write letters, write a column, write a book or three. And damn that stupid calendar , but today I feel inspired to just shut up and do it! Inspired by a new month, a glorious and free July 1, exactly half way through this year, calling me to make the most of the next seasons. Inspired by Jane, my friend, who walks beside me and talks and sighs and laughs with me about feeling afraid of failure….and also of success. And truly inspired by artists like my cousin Pirkko who creates a unique drawing every week and posts it on the web for all to see – she does it for herself, but through her art she sends a weekly message to us that creating is part of living – and sharing the creative side of our lives is so deeply human. I’ve tuning up by blog and will be posting regularly now that I’ve been crazy enough to write it here out loud. I’m doing it for myself – and to honour the painter, dancer, carver, actor, musician, chef, photographer, the ARTIST that lives in each of us. See you out there.

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